Tattooing pays my bills somehow?
On living your dream, but feeling like you're only 10% there at the same time
Last weekend, I was bent over a client’s calf at Now and Forever Tattoo, a woman-owned shop in Philly, blending my favorite shade of tropical Bermuda Blue into pale Aurora mint green on a scaled mermaid’s tail. Her bubblegum pink hair fell in waves past her tiny one inch face, shaded with the subtlest of grey strokes to convey shadow and shape. And of course, glowing pink aquatic blossoms adorned her hair and tail.
This tattoo was from a pre-drawn watercolor design I painted a while back. She was more or less the same type of pretty lady I’ve painted for many years, but drawn specifically to be tattooed: Enough contrast and negative space, the right line thickness, subtly simplified details, a color balance that would make sense healed under skin.
As I worked, I thought about the last few years. All the things I’ve learned, all the people I’ve connected with, all the clients who have trusted me (me??) and paid me (ME????) to put my art on their bodies, lasting even after death.
I stopped and looked around at the beautiful shop I was in, filled with talented women and nonbinary artists, art mosaicked up to the ceiling on high pink-painted walls. I looked down at the mermaid taking shape on my client’s leg. And I realized I’m exactly where I wanted to be, making exactly the types of tattoos I wanted to make, when I decided to do this over three years ago.
Today, tattooing is my main job. Yes, for the first time as an adult, my art practice pays most of my bills.
That weekend, I was a fully-booked guest artist in Philadelphia. Home in NYC, I mostly tattoo out of Haven Tattoo Studio in Ridgewood, a queer woman-owned shop that I’m so proud to be a part of.
Admittedly, I still work a couple days a week working at a local concierge company. It’s a kind of insurance against slow months, soothing my anxious artist soul, but sometimes it feels like I’m shooting myself in the foot. I’m dedicating those two days to a guaranteed $35/hour, instead of using them to become a better artist and fill my schedule. But that job proved invaluable last August, when I was hospitalized overnight with COVID and could blessedly receive sick pay for two weeks. So that’s where I’m at for now.
Losing something steady yet meaningless can pay off, though. This winter, I was finally released from my last remaining freelance writing gig: A mindless weekly hour of curating events and writing 280-character captions for the second biggest ticketing company in the world, who paid me way too much for way too long.1 Even though I saw it coming for literal years, it felt a little dizzying. I worked with them2 for almost a decade! But it also felt like a sign from the universe that I don’t need to hold on to shit that I don’t care about. I’m OK without it.
I can’t believe people actually pay me for this, actually want to look at my art forever and happily compensate me fairly3 for it. Because I still see every little annoying imperfection in my pieces4, I still look at every tattoo I make and note everything I’ll change next time. I think I always will. I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing—After all, I’ve only been doing it for three years. There are a million things I want to learn and a million directions I want to explore.
It’s overwhelming to be so happy with how my career is developing, and to still feel like I have so much further to go.
Was it easy to get here? Or am I just used to working my ass off to get where I want to go? Maybe I’ve just been through enough in my life that I’m not afraid to fail anymore.
I’m really excited for the next year. I am so happy to be back on Substack, where I have more control over my reach and get to write things again.
I can’t wait to share more tattooing stuff, but also nature stuff, art stuff, perfume stuff, apparel stuff… I’m tattooing but I’m also sewing my wedding dress and spending time in the garden. I love so many things, and just want to celebrate life’s beauty with whoever reads this.
And IMO, it’s wayyyy more fun to connect with people through a newsletter like this, instead of apps owned by men who love Trump and want to show you ads for stuff you don’t care about.
In the meantime, I’m booking tattoo appointments in NYC for the next few months, and hoping to do some more guest spots across the country this year, too (any suggestions?).
You can see my portfolio on Instagram, and book with me on my website!
Finally, a question for you:
What are your favorite things to read on my Substack?
What should I write more about?
Let me know what you think 🩷
They should have let me go years ago, or maybe I should have just quit… but would YOU turn down $200/week to write ten (10) event captions for 7 years??? No.
and made $200/week for writing ten (10) event captions
Truly the opposite of working in the apparel industry
Tattooists call it ~doom zooming~